I felt his lips in my hair and then he said quietly, ‘If it’s okay with you, I’m quite comfortable here for the night.’ We lay there in silence for a while until finally I drew the courage to say something I really didn’t want to. ‘Oh, God, Nate.’ I dropped my forehead to his chest and wrapped my hand tight around his arm. When she died two days after her eighteenth birthday that was all that got me through. In the end the only thing that got me through was the belief that she was just too good for this place. That if I just kept breathing for her she’d make it.’ I heard the catch in his throat and tensed against him. Every dashed hope, every failed treatment. She was just about to turn seventeen.’ He glanced away and his arm tightened around me again. He was silent a moment and then his eyes caught mine, and our connection only intensified as he replied, ‘Cancer. Tears shimmered in his eyes, making the breath catch in my throat. I swallowed past the massive lump in my throat, the pain inside me expanding for Nate.
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